(“Free-Flow Sessions:” Session 1) I sit here, drink to my left – Amaretto stone sour – a pile of fudge grahams next to it, and a bag of Lay’s potato chips to my right. I sit at Ed’s desk, plucking away at his laptop, a desperate attempt to push myself to “show up.” Another day of occupying myself as long as possible, only to find … Continue reading Reflections
Fire Walls I’ve struggled for nearly a year; struggled to regain any form of structure and consistency. Struggled to ‘get through’ another season of physical and emotional exhaustion. Struggled to break old patterns and build new roads. Struggled to make connections deeper than a thimble. Struggled to commit to the things which bring me joy. But most of all, I have struggled to love and … Continue reading Dark Truth: Daily Journals (1)
You’re there, in my every breath and desire – lingering, waiting, and watching. I saw you there, tiptoeing the perimeter of it all, my life, and my world. Hiding like a predator in the darkest depths of consciousness. Someone should have warned me about you. I never saw it happen – I wasn’t prepared. I saw you in the eyes of others. I felt … Continue reading Dark Predators & Unwanted Passengers
I’ve had the most interesting morning. A morning of growth and understanding I believe. This is day three of me “living on purpose.” I’ve climbed this mountain numerous times and here I am once again. Staring up from the valley I slid into recently – very recently. It’s amazing how swiftly the mind shifts. I could be having the best week in terms of total … Continue reading Knowing
I’m thinking my dilemma may be that I am desperately trying to learn to live in the “now” of life, and writing my story involves looking back – revisiting old issues. Reliving the pain and anguish of my darkest days. I’m not sure I’m ready for that or maybe it’s not the time. Which makes perfect sense! Why would I spend the last six months … Continue reading We Grow in the Wilderness
Knocked Out When I look back over the past five years, especially the past two – I am floored by how much I have evolved. And how often! My Instagram page tells part of the story but honestly it doesn’t even come close!! I sit here listening to Charli XCX – Black Roses and I’m instantly transported back two years. Transported to the moment when … Continue reading Get Up!
Today’s the day! The day I fully commit, not only to my writing but also to seeking gratitude in everything. I believe that I can conquer my fears and embrace love and life, if only I can GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OWN WAY! See, I’m a perfectionist. Oh sure, everyone thinks they’re a perfectionist or obsessive-compulsive in some way but some of us … Continue reading Life is Like Algebra
The Struggle Let’s be honest with ourselves. Life is HARD! Life can be and often is RIDICULOUSLY DIFFICULT!! Truth is WE ALL STRUGGLE! Not a single of us on this earth has gone without struggle. What differs is the level of the struggle – the DEPTH of it! The reason for the struggle differs. The length of the struggle differs. The outcome of the struggle … Continue reading When the Enemy Hands You Lemons