Dark Truth: Battledoors

August 3, 2019 I’d like to believe have no recollection of the path which led me from wilderness to desert, but I’d be fooling myself. I’d love to pretend I’m blind to the patterns of behavior that led me here, oblivious to the why and how, but I see it all clearly. A series of events; a string of low blows and wounding interactions actively … Continue reading Dark Truth: Battledoors

Dark Truth: The Thief in the Night

Flashback – March 24, 2019 What do you do when the wilderness swallows you whole? What do you do when there’s nothing left to say? When words have been forced out through fear and pain, only to fall short. Or worse! What do you do when disappointment and rejection steal your hope and faith in anything true and good? What are you left with? There … Continue reading Dark Truth: The Thief in the Night

Dark Truth: Energy Economics

August 1, 2019 I woke before the sun once again, nothing new, but certainly a reminder of my struggle. My mind and body are incapable of being on the same page; hell they’re not even in the same book. Some days, I sleep peacefully waking to a short reprieve from the incessant chatter, but most days it’s a race. A sprint to see if I … Continue reading Dark Truth: Energy Economics

Dark Truth: The Desert

The beginning: July 31, 2019 I sit here in silence, with the stark realization that this, this is the moment I’m meant to write about. For decades I’ve wanted to write “my story,” but I always thought my story was rooted in the past. The truth is, my story starts now, in this moment, because there is only now, and how the past effects the … Continue reading Dark Truth: The Desert

Dark Predators & Unwanted Passengers

  You’re there, in my every breath and desire – lingering, waiting, and watching. I saw you there, tiptoeing the perimeter of it all, my life, and my world. Hiding like a predator in the darkest depths of consciousness. Someone should have warned me about you. I never saw it happen – I wasn’t prepared. I saw you in the eyes of others. I felt … Continue reading Dark Predators & Unwanted Passengers

Broken Mirrors & Empty Boxes

I’m so tired of hiding. Do you want to know who I am? Who I really am? I’m the girl who found God and fell in love with Jesus nearly seven years ago. The girl that raps along to Eminem and sings ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ at the top of her lungs. I’m the girl who desperately needs routine as much as I need a bit of … Continue reading Broken Mirrors & Empty Boxes

All That Glitters

Today marks the five-year anniversary of my nightmare’s beginning. The moment when the choices of another would change everything. But I’m not here to talk about that directly. The truth is, I’m not entirely sure I see it that way anymore. I’ve spent my time lying near the stagnant waters of poor me, and why me, losing blood by the pints. Bloodsucking mosquitoes of negativity … Continue reading All That Glitters

Circle the Wagons

I cannot explain how weird it is to feel the way I feel right now. I’m desperate to share. I believe in my heart of hearts that sharing will do some good. For myself and others. I can’t be alone. Others must understand. But here I sit, four months into blogging, and I cannot commit to full-disclosure. The walls, the massive tower of criticism that … Continue reading Circle the Wagons

A Beautiful Mind

So here I sit, once again – full of thoughts and ideas. Incomplete thoughts and scattered ideas but they are mine. Something no one can take away from me (or can they). I sit here often unable to connect the dots. Seeing sparks of the person I used to be but will never be again. Something I’m starting to accept in theory while wholeheartedly fighting … Continue reading A Beautiful Mind

Simply BE

There was a time in my life when I had proudly mastered the art of multitasking and over-committing. My days and weeks were full of obligations, goals, and accomplishments. I took pride in everything I did. Managing my household, raising our son, being a good wife, being an excellent employee and student. Being the best, I could absolutely be, at any job I ever approached. … Continue reading Simply BE