Old Wounds & New Scars

Old Wounds Four winters ago, I found myself hanging from a cliff, dangling and desperate to climb up. I survived that winter, allowing myself to believe I’d never slide off the cliff again. I wasn’t completely wrong, if you’re looking for me, you won’t find me dangling off a cliff. No, you’ll find me crashing through the waves as I’m being pulled down by the … Continue reading Old Wounds & New Scars

Moments – The Pond Pt. 2

‘Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.’ Colossians 3:12   February 23, 2018 I notice Ed’s truck ahead of me to the right parked next to one of many ponds in our housing development. I ease to the right, careful to make my way up the nearest driveway and onto the sidewalk. I coast … Continue reading Moments – The Pond Pt. 2

Winter – Pt. 1

‘She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.’ Proverbs 31:21 I’m going to make a bold statement and say that ‘this winter has been the harshest in years!’ Harsh in terms of weather across the entire country of course, but worse, it’s been a beast of a winter for the sensitive types of this world. I can … Continue reading Winter – Pt. 1

Sadness & Joy – Pt. 1

‘Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance’ (James 1:2-3) Sadness The constant undercurrent of sadness is beginning to wear on me. Sadness, not depression. I know depression, and I know sadness, this is definitely the latter. I feel it when I check Facebook in the morning, … Continue reading Sadness & Joy – Pt. 1

Moments: A Book Story

My eyes traverse the perimeter, skimming the service in search of myself. It’s all there, a road map of my journey, five years of collecting knowledge. It all started with a book, a gift from my Mom. Her heart was in the right place, she wasn’t wrong, but she couldn’t see the big picture. She couldn’t fathom the possibility that my post-traumatic ‘situation’ started decades … Continue reading Moments: A Book Story

Miniature Moments: Texture

Sitting crisscross on the floor – a morning ritual. Leaned half-heartedly into the giant recliner behind me. Chocolate mocha – extra wide, covered in shades of ocean blue, swimming with dolphins. A remnant of a time long gone. The comfort of ‘bunnies’ still present but a bit worn. A sense of comfort as I close my eyes, traversing the memories a touch affords me. To … Continue reading Miniature Moments: Texture

My Cookie Monster

‘Oh, look cookies!’ my son exclaims. ‘Of course. How did that happen?’ I reply with a smirk and a glimmer in my eye.  Cookies. Cookie Monster. My cookie monster. He’s 21 now. How did that happen? Five minutes spent digging through a clear Dollar Tree container, seeking a memory. A moment in time, 19 years ago – my little cookie monster in a royal blue jumper. … Continue reading My Cookie Monster

Reinventing Us

We glide right then turn left, taking our time, careful not to ‘push it.’ We talk as we ride, well, I talk and mostly, he responds. “It’s time to reinvent ourselves.’ Another one of my ‘hail Mary’ moments. A moment of courage – an attempt to set things straight. It started with an appointment for us both to get an oil change. Well, not us, … Continue reading Reinventing Us

Neon Decadence: Anxiety Lurks

A thought popped into my mind this morning as I climbed out of bed, or maybe it was as I stepped into the shower. In any instance, the thought slammed into me without notice. The idea that ‘achievement motivates me, and failure destroys me.’ As soon as I could see the words clearly, I rolled them around a few times – could it be true? … Continue reading Neon Decadence: Anxiety Lurks

I Have a Secret

There’s something tremendously healing about raw authentic truth. The kind of truth that encompasses strength and vulnerability (not to be confused with weakness). I consider a lot these days, more than any other time in my life. Years of pain, growth, and reflection leading me to this season of my life. One in which I believe I see most clearly. The vision afforded us in … Continue reading I Have a Secret