January 27, 2018 – I sit here fully aware that I am swimming in pain and fear. Layers of pain igniting fear within the darkest recesses of my mind. For months I’ve been managing the effects of a neck and shoulder injury (re-injury). Here’s the truth – I have always felt guilty for sharing my pain and suffering with others. I loathe the feeling of … Continue reading Diary of Pain Pt. 2
November 13, 2017 – A writing session I’m clearly avoiding and I’m sitting here listening to Christmas music – Dean Martin to be specific. I’m not sure what I’m trying to accomplish by choosing Christmas music, but I’ve been through every other playlist on my Pandora app…. Something must inspire me. At the very least a smile and a giggle (check and check). I’m trying … Continue reading Diary of Pain Pt. 1
I hesitate to write what I’m about to write, for fear of misunderstanding and repercussion. Words can easily be twisted by perspective while gracefully mangled by perception. My fear lays not in church members reading this, no, I’m okay with that. My fear resides in the ongoing battle of- Will people misunderstand? Am I hurting people? Will they judge me? Christians are saved, they are not indefectable. … Continue reading Church – My Journey Pt. 3
When forced to witness the reminiscent review of a pleasant upbringing, I often find myself swimming in a sea of envy. I have no ill will towards those lucky enough to have a firm foundation in life; I simply wish I had more of a foundation myself. I sit, trying to write about my childhood, and I’m continually left with the same handful of memories. … Continue reading Missing Pieces: A Mother’s Love
As I sat fully immersed in my time with God this morning, I was reminded to take stock. To take a moment to look back over the past few weeks, the month of January, and proudly take notice of every success. Every decision made. Every emotion overpowered by faith and choice. Every fear faced. Every inch of growth of mind, body, and soul. I was … Continue reading A Loving Grace
My story is coming out in pieces; something my over-analytical inner-critic is furious about. I’ve spent the last few weeks avoiding writing most days, while setting aside my progress on the days I do write. I sit down with the sole purpose of writing, no real plan, only the faith that something will flow out of me. I’ve found this to be the most therapeutic … Continue reading Pieces of Me: A Peak Behind the Curtain
Okay, I’m officially middle aged. I always imagined it would come at 50, which is just silly, considering I’m unlikely to live to 100. My reasoning? Today marks three months of sleeping an average of four hours a night. It’s not as if I’m unappreciative of the time, but I am no need for more awake time. What I need is more sleep, if not for any other reason than to allow my body to heal properly. There is a reason for everything, and sleep serves many a purpose. The most important, the allowance for mind and body to heal and reset. I learned a few years ago how important sleep is, especially the right amount at the right time.