This is not about the pain in my back, my thoracic to be exact. This is not about the feeling of sickness that encompasses my body inside and out. This is not about the full body feeling of heaviness crushing my motivation daily. This is not about the lightning bolts flashing through my knees when I walk. This is not about the pain and agony in my neck, the pain that radiates down my shoulder and into my bones.
This is not about my tilted pelvis and the chaos it is creating in my body. This is not about my sciatic, my lumbar, or my joints. This is not about how I feel like a failure. This is not about how life is unpredictable. This is not about fear and shame. This is not about fogginess and exhaustion. This is not about trauma and depression. This is not about how difficult and debilitating the past five years have been.
This is about how life happens, by choice – choices made first and secondhand. This is about the deep understanding that no one is free from the pain of loss. This is about accepting. This is about trusting. This is about believing. This is about embracing the whole picture – the good and the bad. This is about throwing shame to the wind. This is about allowing yourself to feel it all.
This is about letting it go when it no longer serves a need. This is about pushing through and marching on. This is about being as strong as you can. This is about doing the best you can. This is about understanding balance. This is about being kind and loving – to yourself and others. This is about allowing yourself to be who God created you to be. This is about flushing standards and expectations down the toilet. This about seeking joy. This is about overcoming. This is about life.
Photo by Brannon Naito