Faulty Foundations

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I have these moments throughout the day – sporadically scattered among my daily activities. Moments of brilliance in the shower. Gifts of knowledge and understanding while driving, in exchange for road rage and disrespect. Shining messages – epiphanies – whispers of the Holy Spirit. I used to miss it – always living with dark and clouded thoughts – never hearing the sweet murmur of insight. But now, now I listen! I am eager to hear that still small voice – saddened when I am too numb to do so. Because that’s what happens – life ebbs and flows – hammering away at your resolve. We all respond – react, in the dark seasons of our life. The difference? Our responses. Our reactions built on significantly different foundations. Some are built on faulty foundations; disadvantaged by decades of unknowing – unfeeling – unseeing. Drowning in deafening silence.

Record & Reflect

Recently, I decided I was sick of allowing these moments to come and go like flutter of a wing. I beautiful gift, given and taken away at the blink of an eye. Fleeting moments I was desperate to record – creating a legacy of who I really am. Who I am becoming – the ins and outs of my mind, body, and soul shared in snippets of growth and change. For years I’ve been bequeathed the beauty of truly knowing; always desperate to encompass the understandings afforded me by God. But I never took the time to record and remember. Always allowing little bits to come and go, leaving a hint, a trace of who I could be – who I should be.

So, I stumbled across four mini composition notebooks and knew immediately I had to have them. In the moment, I had no knowledge of what they would be used for. But I had no doubt I was meant to have them.  Within moments of bringing them home, I had a vision of placing them throughout my life. Knowing exactly where each would be placed and why. The first was placed in my beach bag. I am in continual awe over how God speaks to us when we are fully enveloped in his beauty. The second was placed in the kitchen. It seems that I hear the most, when I am active. The door to hearing is wide open, in moments of pure task-oriented focus. Moments when my pain and worries are drowned out by distraction.

The third was strategically placed in my car. I say this because, I seem to have the most amazing thoughts while driving. Though I am desperate to remember them; recording them while driving or even stopped for a moment, can be terribly inconvenient. I’ve tried! I’ve attempted texting it out – what a nightmare. Then there were my talk to text moments – boy was that interesting. I’m still not sure what some of my notes on my phone mean. But now, my little notebook sits there in the “cubby” – pen attached and ready to go. Red lights are an amazing time to listen to the Spirit. It’s a far superior alternative to impatience and road rage. The final notebook was placed in my bedroom. Maybe, symbolically, this should have been placed first. My bedroom and bathroom seem to be the key to enlightenment. I jest, but I’m also very serious. I have the most amazing conversations with God in my shower, my bed, and everywhere in between. I am continually floored by the knowledge bestowed upon me in moments of pure vulnerability.

God will listen. God will speak. 

I sit. I listen. I record and reflect – learning and growing along the way. Pushing darkness aside to listen – to understand. Bathing in it all – every emotion – every struggle and challenge. Fully aware of the purpose. Fully embracing what it is God has planned for me. Seeing and feeling how he guides and molds me along the way. Never allowing any moment – good or bad – to go without purpose and perspective. Continually turning beauty to ashes in all seasons – unwelcome and cold seasons as much as self-sabotaging dry seasons. God will listen. God will speak. God will guide. God will teach. What will you do?

 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8 

“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness,righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.” Ephesians 5:8-11

 

 

Photo by Patrick Hendry

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