Today’s the day! The day I fully commit, not only to my writing but also to seeking gratitude in everything. I believe that I can conquer my fears and embrace love and life, if only I can GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OWN WAY!
See, I’m a perfectionist. Oh sure, everyone thinks they’re a perfectionist or obsessive-compulsive in some way but some of us know we have a serious ADDICTION to chasing that which CANNOT be caught! Perfection does not exist people… not on an earthly level. We are ALL flawed and broken and we always will be. Here’s the thing though, in-spite of that, NO because of that…. we are still LOVED! There is no need to chase perfection; only a need to LOVE and be LOVED! If we could just allow ourselves to do so, unconditionally, we would truly know PEACE.
Does this mean that life will roll on without a hitch? Absolutely NOT! Life is all about the ebb and flow… the mountains and valleys and every other cliche out there. But imagine if it wasn’t. Have you ever had a season of your life when nothing was happening – good or bad? You were just stagnant; no growth. These are seasons I have no interest in, they’re boring. Seasons that are simply a reflection of our refusal to move on behalf of God. Without the ebb and flow of life – without the PAIN – there is NO GROWTH. I’m sorry but this is the absolute truth.
I never saw it before. I never knew there was good to be found in the bad. I would always say “everything happens for a reason” but I truly did not understand what that meant. The statement simply made me feel better about the unanswered questions of life, but that was it. My Dad says there’s a difference between “believing” and “knowing.” I agree. It really is in the “knowing” of a thing… the ability to feel it deep down inside; to truly understand. It’s like a birth or rebirth of something planted long ago. But if you do not go through the pain of weathering storms and surviving catastrophes; you will never achieve the “knowing.”
Think about Algebra; we do not sit down without prior knowledge of algebra and attempt an advanced algebraic problem. No! We are taught the most basics of math and little by little – step by step – we learn to solve longer and more complex problems; with multiple variables no less! It’s insanity! The thing is, you cannot navigate the longer more complex problems, if you have not already spent time on the smaller, easier problems. Life is EXACTLY like algebra!
Take a look at your life – truly look – and recognize the lessons God’s been teaching you all along. Take a moment and remember what you’ve already survived; what God has pulled you through. Now, recognize your part in it all. If you’ve made it through, then you’ve clearly made some growth along the way. What have you learned? Can you see that what is lost is not important? What have you gained? Even in your darkest moments; what you have lost is minimal to what you have and will gain in this life. Think about it!
All of this to say – I am committed to sharing what God has gifted me in this, my darkest season. A season, I never saw coming and was completely unprepared for…. Or so I thought! In my sharing, I conquer my fears, share my testimony, and hope to help someone along the way. Help those who feel broken and alone with no answers. Those who thought they had it all together – all figured out – and then one day their lives were flipped upside down. Those who feel worthless, shameful, unworthy and unloved. Those who are terrified to seek the light of our world for fear of being BURNED! For every one of these people – I choose to speak my truth in the hopes that I can inspire and encourage others to simply…. LIVE theirs! Without fear and without shame!
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5